During this time of lock-down, I thought some humor might be helpful. “A merry heart doeth good like a medicine” (Pro. 17:22). “A merry heart maketh a cheerful countenance” (Pro. 15:13). There is a time to laugh (smile maybe) (Eccl. 3:4).
So during this time let’s take a daily dose of some Cute Church Chuckles: Offering Time: Note: Ushers as Lot please linger at each aisle. A boy quickly pulled off his tie and put it into the plate. The mother pulled it out and said, “What are you doing? “But mom, he said give your ties and offerings.” Sermons: The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending and keep the two as close together as possible. Man to doctor, “I need help with my snoring.” “Does it bother your wife?” “Not only my wife but the whole church.” Old days of head-knockers: A head-knocker hit a sleeping man very hard. As he lay in the pew he said, “Hit me again, I can still hear him.” Sermon Time Frames: Intro: 20 mins. Rabbit trail: 8 mins. Cut it short: 7 mins. Briefly: 4 mins. Finally: 12 mins. In closing: 10 mins. Total one hour. Note: Time varies with each preacher and each sermon. Children’s Church: Teacher asked: What are you drawing? “I’m drawing God.” But no one knows what God looks like. “They will in a minute.” Why should you be quiet in church? “Because people are sleeping.” We’ve studied the kings and queens but what is higher?” “That’s easy, the Aces.” As van kid returns: “Mom! My name is in the Bible! “And he edith (eateth) with sinners.” Can you name Isaiah’s horse? Answer: “Isme” because Isaiah always said, “Woe (whoa) is me.” Can you name the angels? “Gabriel, Michael, Mark and Harold.” Harold? “Hark the Heralded (Harold) angels sing.” Easter: Teacher: What’s in this large gift egg? “I know, I know! pantyhose!” How Kids hear songs: (And He walks with me and He talks with me) “Andy they’re singing about you.” (Tell it to Jesus) Tell little Jesus. (He broke the bonds of prison for me). He bought a box of presents for me. (He taught me how to watch and pray). He taught me how to wash and spray. (Lead on old king eternal). Lead on old kinky turtle. Bulletins: Pray for the many who are sick of our church. Ushers will eat all latecomers. Don’t let worry kill you, let the pastor and church help. We need all sinners (singers) to come to the choir.
Did you laugh/smile? Good! You will be glad you did, and so will others. Laughter is also contagious so pass it on to others. When someone is without a smile, give them yours. As Christians, we now face an unknown new normal. But our known faithful Lord promises to be with us (Heb. 13:3). In all our ways and paths, let’s acknowledge Him (Prov. 3:1-2) with a merry heart and a cheerful countenance.
